


In My Place (the synchronised unicorns remix)

by Netgirl_y2k



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/F, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-19
Updated: 2010-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ah, thinks Gwen, this is a silly dream. She relaxes and waits for the synchronised unicorns to make their appearance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In My Place (the synchronised unicorns remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sophinisba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophinisba/gifts).
  * Inspired by [I Know My Place](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/859) by sophinisba. 



Gwen dreams too.

She dreams of her father, strong and alive. Her mother too, sometimes. She dreams of Arthur's strong arms and Merlin's easy smile. She dreams of Morgana's lips, the curve of her breasts, the sharp edges of her smile.

Sometimes she has silly dreams, frogs fall from the sky and unicorns prance through the streets of Camelot.

She would tell Morgana of all these dreams and more if Morgana ever asked.

*

"Tell me."

"It's nothing," Morgana lies, pulling away from Gwen even as she clings to her so, so tightly.

*

There's one dream Gwen might not tell Morgana about, even if she asked.

*

"Come with me," says the hooded and cloaked woman. "Come with me, Queen Guinevere, and the world will be yours to command."

Ah, thinks Gwen, this is a silly dream. She relaxes and waits for the synchronised unicorns to make their appearance.

*

"Tell me what you see."

"I don't remember," says Morgana.

Liar, Gwen doesn't say.

*

"All hail Queen Guinevere," says the dream woman.

*

Queen Guinevere, how silly. Gwen giggles everytime she thinks of it.

"What's so funny?" Morgana asks.

"I don't remember," Gwen lies, and feels strangely satisfied in the lie.

*

The dream woman doesn't say anything, just stares out from beneath her hood with startling blue eyes.

"I don't know what you're waiting for," says Gwen. "I'm hardly about to get all excited just because a figment of my imagination called me a queen, I'm not--"

Morgana. Gwen wakes up before she can say that she's not Morgana.

*

"You have to sleep tonight, Morgana. It's been two nights already."

"I don't know what you're talking about," says Morgana.

You stupid, stupid girl, Gwen wants to say, you need sleep, you can't live off fear and stubbornness alone.

You'll make yourself sick, sicker, Gwen doesn't say.

Let me save you, _please_, Gwen can never say.

*

"If I could," says Gwen in the dark, once she's sure Morgana's asleep, "If I could I'd have the dreams for you."

*

Gwen walks into her cottage and immediately drops the candle she's holding. It's not every day you find a figment of your imagination sitting at your kitchen table.

With a lackadaisical wave of her hand the dream woman puts out the flames and causes a chair to slide back from the table.

"Sit down," says the woman, "we need to talk about Morgana."

Gwen sits.

*

"I've seen you before," says Gwen.

"Those weren't ordinary dreams."

"No. Yes. I've seen you before in Camelot. You were with King Bayard, you pretended to be a servant."

"You are more observant than most of Uther's subjects."

"You poisoned Merlin."

"He lives."

"I don't trust you."

"Morgana needs me."

"She has me."

"Does she?"

*

"Do you ever dream about a woman?" Gwen asks.

"I don't remember what I dream about," replies Morgana.

*

"What's your name?"

"Cara."

"Liar," says Gwen. "What's your name?"

"Nimueh."

*

"Morgana, you look… When did you sleep last?"

"I'm not sure, what day is it today?"

"Tuesday."

"I don't know. Saturday, maybe Friday."

"Oh, _Morgana_."

*

"She won't ever ask you for help," says Nimueh.

"She's proud. And she doesn't have to ask."

"The real question is: _can_ you help her?"

"Can_ you?_" Gwen snaps.

"No. But I could take her to someone who can."

*

"Tell me," says Gwen, after offering Morgana what comfort she can with her fingers and lips and tongue.

"I don't remember."

*

"Does she even tell you," Nimueh asks, "Does she even tell you what she dreams of?"

"She's afraid. She doesn't want me to be in danger."

"How noble of her," says Nimueh. "While Uther watches you burn you can say 'she lied to me too.'"

*

"Do you want to know what she dreams of?" says Nimueh.

Gwen shrugs.

"She dreams of fire, every night."

"It won't end like that," says Gwen. "I won't let it."

Nimueh laughs. "Queen Guinevere," she says.

*

"Should you be here, in the castle?"

"I can go anywhere I want," says Nimueh.

"I mean," says Gwen, "won't you be recognised."

"People see what they expect to see. They expect to see two servants, not a sorceress and a queen."

"No, they certainly don't expect that. But the king--"

"I stood next to Bayard while Uther toasted him and he didn't see me. I was his friend, I was his wife's lover and he didn't see me."

"His wife? You and Arthur's mother…?"

Nimueh laughs, not unkindly. "You sound scandalised, Guinevere. Perhaps you thought you and the lady Morgana had invented it?"

*

"Shall I get Gaius or, or Merlin, maybe?"

"I don't want anybody else," says Morgana, burrowing against Gwen, then, "I don't want anybody. I wish you didn't have to see me like this."

So do I, Gwen doesn't say.

Every morning it takes Morgana longer and longer to piece together some semblance of the proud, strong woman she's trying to be from the shards the dreams leave her. One morning, Gwen thinks, she's going to stay broken.

*

"Promise me," says Gwen, "promise me you'll help her."

"I promise, Queen Guinevere."

*

"My lady," Gwen swallows nervously. "Morgana. I know someone, that is, there's someone I think you should meet."

*

Morgana gasps when Nimueh pulls back her hood. "You're dead," she says. "I saw you die, you were struck by lightening."

"You have a gift," says Nimueh. "But you don't see the big picture. I can help you with that."

"Promise?" says Morgana in a small voice.

Nimueh looks at Gwen when she answers, "I do."

*

"I'm coming with you," says Gwen, shoving clothes into a bag. "I don't trust you with her."

"As my queen commands," says Nimueh with a smile.

*

The cave is damp and were it not for Nimueh's magic they never would have gotten a fire started.

Next to the flames Morgana thrashes and whimpers in what passes for her sleep these days.

"We'll be there tomorrow," says Nimueh.

Where? Gwen doesn't ask, she knows Nimueh won't answer for all that she calls Gwen queen.

"Can't you do something for her tonight?"

"You wish to ease her suffering?"

"You know that I do."

Nimueh takes Gwen's hand, fingernails biting into her wrist, she pulls Gwen to her and kisses her, softly, gently. Warmth spreads through Gwen's body.

"Go to her," says Nimueh.

Gwen lies down next to Morgana. She takes her hand and kisses her palm, her cheek, the spot where her neck joins her shoulder. Morgana curls into Gwen, mumbles her name and stills.

Gwen goes to sleep aware of Nimueh's eyes on them.

*

There's a magic island behind a waterfall and Gwen isn't surprised at all. Morgana's delighted and Nimueh looks like she's come home.

"You brought her."

Gwen turns to see a blonde descending a staircase in a swirl of red silk, she ignores Gwen and Nimueh and goes straight to Morgana, taking both of her hands in hers. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" asks Morgana, smiling shyly.

Gwen wants to go to her but Nimueh takes her hand. "Come, my queen, we should give them a moment together."

Gwen, feeling like she's intruding on a private moment, lets Nimueh tug her away.

"Why do you call me _your_ queen?" she asks.

"Mine, Morgana's, your own. It matters not."

Gwen thinks of Morgana sleeping peacefully in her arms, of Nimueh's warm hand in hers and whispers of "my queen."

No, she thinks, it really doesn't matter.


End file.
